An admission

That as a former New Yorker, I am incapable of giving good, reliable directions.

Not because I don't often know the way, or don't want to share, but because I can't ever say, "No – I don't know how to get there."

Just can't do it. You ask a New Yorker, "How do I get to 486 Farblunget Avenue?" They will answer, "Um, um, um... I think it's three blocks up and on the left." Even if they have NO CLUE. Really none.

And we're not doing it out of spite. We want to help. Deeply. We just also want to be right, and informed, and know things that we feel we should know.

So if you're ever in New York and need directions: ask A LOT of people and take the average. Because most of them – no matter how definite they sound – haven't got a clue.

It's one of those weird regional things, like Angelenos inability to say no to an RSVP when they mean... no.

And it reminds me of my mom's favorite quote: Nobody here knows anything, let's take a vote.

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